The 1 to 9 Couples Sex Scale
A lot of couples are uncomfortable talking about how to initiate and refuse sex.
It's also difficult to cope with being turned down.
The key to making “yes” and “no” feel less loaded is to have an agreed-upon ritual in your relationship for navigating sex.
Noted sex therapist Lonnie Barbach suggests that couples use a scale from 1 to 9 to indicate how amorous each of them is feeling, with 1 meaning “Not at all,” 5 meaning “I’m convince-able,” and 9 meaning “Let’s do it!”
So, if your partner initiates and you’re not in the mood, you can say, “I love you, and right now I’m a 1.” If you’re not sure, you could say, “Right now I’m a 5. Let’s kiss and see where it goes.”
The more you can hear, understand, and respect your partner’s “no” about any marital issue, the more “yes” there will be in your relationship.
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What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?
Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.
Poll: Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?
The Australian Prime Minister has expressed plans to ban social media use for children.
This would make it illegal for under 16-year-olds to have accounts on platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and X.
Social media platforms would be tasked with ensuring children have no access (under-age children and their parents wouldn’t be penalised for breaching the age limit)
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Do you think NZ should follow suit? Vote in our poll and share your thoughts below.
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85.1% Yes
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13.8% No
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1% Other - I'll share below
Railing planters
To gain extra growing space, make and hang these easy-to-build planters on almost any wooden fence or deck railing. Use Resene FX Blackboard Paint so you can easily identify what plants are in each. Find out how to create your own with these easy step by step instructions.
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