Useful information for the summer break
⏰ Our summer opening hours: bit.ly...
🌪️ Prepare yourself for summer storms: bit.ly...
🌊 Check Safeswim for live information on water quality and swimming conditions at your favourite swimming spots: www.safeswim.org.nz...
❌ Our social media channels are not monitored from Thursday 23 December 2021 at 5pm until Monday 10 January 2022 at 8.30am. During this time, please visit www.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz... for information.
🎄 🥳 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from your Auckland Council team on social media. See you again in 2022 😉
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”