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427 days ago

Police Remembrance Day – 29th September

Glen from Gonville

A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.

The driver, really aggro, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.

The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.

When the officer finishes writing out the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket and then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature.
The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an a*hole."

Two months later they're in court.
The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he has a heap of points and is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a barrister to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.

Under cross examination the barrister for the defence asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
The police officer replies: "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Barrister: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."

"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.”

"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for a*hole?"
“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”

(Now how often can one get a lawyer to convict his own client?)

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More messages from your neighbours
7 days ago

Poll: Should all neighbours have to contribute to improvements?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

An Auckland court has ruled a woman doesn’t have to contribute towards the cost of fixing a driveway she shares with 10 neighbours.

When thinking about fences, driveways or tree felling, for example, do you think all neighbours should have to pay if the improvements directly benefit them?

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Should all neighbours have to contribute to improvements?
  • 81.9% Yes
    81.9% Complete
  • 15.3% No
    15.3% Complete
  • 2.7% Other - I'll share below
    2.7% Complete
2401 votes
6 hours ago

Think You’ve Got the Answer? Today’s Riddle Says ‘Prove It’!

Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

If eleven plus two equals one, what does nine plus five equal?

Do you think you know the answer to our daily riddle? Don't spoil it for your neighbours! Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm.

Want to stop seeing riddles in your newsfeed?
Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.

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5 days ago

Live Q&A: Garden maintenance with Crewcut

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

This Wednesday, we are having another Neighbourly Q&A session. This time with John Bracewell from Crewcut.

John Bracewell, former Black Caps coach turned Franchisee Development Manager and currently the face of Crewcut’s #Movember campaign, knows a thing or two about keeping the grass looking sharp—whether it’s on a cricket pitch or in your backyard!

As a seasoned Crewcut franchisee, John is excited to answer your lawn and gardening questions. After years of perfecting the greens on the field, he's ready to share tips on how to knock your garden out of the park. Let's just say he’s as passionate about lush lawns as he is about a good game of cricket!

John is happy to answer questions about lawn mowing, tree/hedge trimming, tidying your garden, ride on mowing, you name it! He'll be online on Wednesday, 27th of November to answer them all.

Share your question below now ⬇️

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