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2747 days ago

The art of intimate conversation

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

The goal of an intimate conversation is to understand, not to problem solve.

Premature problem solving tends to make people shut down.

Here are the three skills I teach in my couple sessions, for having an intimate conversation.

Put your feelings into words
This skill was called “focusing” by master clinician Eugene Gendlin. Gendlin said that when we can find the right images, phrases, metaphors, and words to fit our feelings, there is a kind of “resolution” one feels in one’s body.

Ask open-ended questions
This is done by either asking questions like, “What is your disaster scenario here?” or making specific statements that explore feelings like, “Tell me the story of that."

Express empathy
In an intimate conversation, the first two skills help you explore your partner's thoughts, feelings, and needs. Empathy is shown by communicating that these thoughts, feelings, and needs make sense to you, even if you disagree.

Action for the week: Initiate an intimate conversation with your partner.

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Seasonal Home Check-Up Reminder! 🔍

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Riddle Me This, Neighbours! Bet You Can’t Guess It!

Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

Sometimes narrow, sometimes wide, wind or rain, I stay outside.
Even if there’s heat or snow, from house to house I will still go.
What am I?

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Want to stop seeing riddles in your newsfeed?
Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.

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