The art of intimate conversation
The goal of an intimate conversation is to understand, not to problem solve.
Premature problem solving tends to make people shut down.
Here are the three skills I teach in my couple sessions, for having an intimate conversation.
Put your feelings into words
This skill was called “focusing” by master clinician Eugene Gendlin. Gendlin said that when we can find the right images, phrases, metaphors, and words to fit our feelings, there is a kind of “resolution” one feels in one’s body.
Ask open-ended questions
This is done by either asking questions like, “What is your disaster scenario here?” or making specific statements that explore feelings like, “Tell me the story of that."
Express empathy
In an intimate conversation, the first two skills help you explore your partner's thoughts, feelings, and needs. Empathy is shown by communicating that these thoughts, feelings, and needs make sense to you, even if you disagree.
Action for the week: Initiate an intimate conversation with your partner.
Seasonal Home Check-Up Reminder! 🔍
Hi everyone!
As the seasons change, it’s time to think about your home’s exterior. Inspecting for cracks, peeling, or other signs of wear is crucial to maintaining your property. Small issues can lead to bigger problems if not addressed.
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