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2601 days ago

Our need for security is a core human need

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

Our need for security is a core human need. However, when we prioritize security at the *expense* of love and connection...our lives, our relationships increasingly revolve around what I call the "S-Cubed State": struggle, suffering, and sacrifice. It never ends well.

The good news is you can get your need for security, predictability, and familiarity MET...without sacrificing love and connection! The first step is to *notice* where you're putting security ABOVE connection - e.g. we will sometimes avoid encounters with new people or even people that we love because we want to avoid the potential discomfort of judgment, conflict, or rejection.

But if we organize our lives this way, they get *smaller* and more contracted. At best, this is a temporary coping mechanism if we are burnt out from, say, a long-standing family conflict. However, like all coping mechanisms, avoiding connection in order to feel secure can only provide temporary relief.

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More messages from your neighbours
5 days ago

Poll: Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

The Australian Prime Minister has expressed plans to ban social media use for children.

This would make it illegal for under 16-year-olds to have accounts on platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and X.
Social media platforms would be tasked with ensuring children have no access (under-age children and their parents wouldn’t be penalised for breaching the age limit)
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Do you think NZ should follow suit? Vote in our poll and share your thoughts below.

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Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?
  • 85.5% Yes
    85.5% Complete
  • 13.4% No
    13.4% Complete
  • 1.1% Other - I'll share below
    1.1% Complete
2071 votes
4 days ago

What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?

Mei Leng Wong Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.

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1 day ago

Railing planters

The Team from Resene ColorShop Lower Hutt

To gain extra growing space, make and hang these easy-to-build planters on almost any wooden fence or deck railing. Use Resene FX Blackboard Paint so you can easily identify what plants are in each. Find out how to create your own with these easy step by step instructions.

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