Solicitor in court cross examination ..
Seeing as we are still stuck at home and I have a captive audience I thought I might as well hit you with this :
A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor?
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Paddy said, 'Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie'.
Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded.’ Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after da accident, a policeman turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'
'Now wot would you say?'
Poll: Is dumping an issue in your neighbourhood?
There's nothing worse than strolling around the streets in your neighbourhood and seeing dumped rubbish.
Have you noticed this in your area? What could we do to combat this around the country?
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42.1% Yes, I've seen some illegal dumping
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57.1% No, our neighbourhood is pretty good
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0.8% Other - I'll share below
Can you crack Today’s neighbourhood conundrum?
Without a bridle or a saddle, across a thing, I ride a-straddle. And those I ride, by help of me, though almost blind, are made to see. What am I?
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This one was sent in by your fellow neighbour, can you figure it out?
What is first white then red and the plumper it gets the more the old lady likes it?
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