EU approves of English instead of German to be the official language.
The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
This just in from Adrian Crowe.
Live Q&A: Garden maintenance with Crewcut
This Wednesday, we are having another Neighbourly Q&A session. This time with John Bracewell from Crewcut.
John Bracewell, former Black Caps coach turned Franchisee Development Manager and currently the face of Crewcut’s #Movember campaign, knows a thing or two about keeping the grass looking sharp—whether it’s on a cricket pitch or in your backyard!
As a seasoned Crewcut franchisee, John is excited to answer your lawn and gardening questions. After years of perfecting the greens on the field, he's ready to share tips on how to knock your garden out of the park. Let's just say he’s as passionate about lush lawns as he is about a good game of cricket!
John is happy to answer questions about lawn mowing, tree/hedge trimming, tidying your garden, ride on mowing, you name it! He'll be online on Wednesday, 27th of November to answer them all.
Share your question below now ⬇️
What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?
Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.
It’s Riddle Time! Beat the Neighbourhood with Your Smarts!
Which of the following words don't belong in the group and why?
CORSET, COSTER, SECTOR, ESCORT, COURTS
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