Subscribe to Stuff's First Time Buyers' Club
Making it onto the first rung of the property ladder can be an incredibly rewarding journey – and Stuff is here to help you through.
Stuff Homed has launched the First Time Buyers’ Club, an email series to help you navigate the equal-parts exciting and terrifying process of buying your first ever home. When you join our six-week LearnStuff course, you’ll get an email every week giving you all the basics on what you need to know, who you need on your side, and what you need to do at each stage of the journey.
We can’t make the houses any cheaper, but we can guide you through the process, share some tips from the experts, and help you avoid some of the trips and traps.
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New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”