Back
1144 days ago

Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉

Fiona from Henderson

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out.

Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.

He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄

Image
More messages from your neighbours
5 hours ago

What's your favourite tomato recipe?

Mei Leng Wong Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Kia ora neighbours. We know your tomato plants are still growing, but we're looking ahead to the harvest already! If you've got a family recipe for tomatoes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine to share with our readers. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our February 2025 issue.

Image
J
3 hours ago

Cleaning

Joe from Te Atatu South

Handyman working so hard
Very fast service he can anything you want
Outdoor & indoor maintenance , gardening, painting, water blasting & many more
Don’t hesitate to contact me
0277111311
Joe marsh

1 day ago

Poll: When should the tree go up? 🎄

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

From what we've heard, some Christmas trees are already being assembled and decorated.

What are your thoughts on the best time to get your Christmas tree up?

Image
When should the tree go up? 🎄
  • 4.9% Second half of November
    4.9% Complete
  • 43.7% 1st December
    43.7% Complete
  • 16.7% A week before Christmas
    16.7% Complete
  • 33.3% Whenever you wish
    33.3% Complete
  • 1.3% Other - I'll share below
    1.3% Complete
1052 votes