NOMINATE YOUR ZERO WASTE HERO
From food to fabric, construction waste to the circular economy, and everything in between, the 2022 Tāmaki Makaurau Zero Waste Awards celebrate the mahi of those working to reduce waste to landfill across our city.
Nominations are now open until 31 August, so if you know of an unsung hero/es who should be celebrated, nominate them at ecomatters.org.nz/zerowasteawards.
EcoMatters Environment Trust is organising the 2022 awards with support from Uru Whakaaro, and in partnership with Auckland Council, as part of its aspirational goal for Tāmaki Makaurau to be zero waste by 2040.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”