Which transport projects would you pick?
Our transport plan for Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland is designed to make our city the best it can be.
There are a lot of projects to work on, but we can’t do them all at once. That’s why we need you to help us decide which projects are prioritised first.
Have your say with our 5 min survey here by 17 June 2024.
The plan is looking to make improvement to:
Travel choices for Aucklanders, including train, bus, ferry, car, cycle or on foot.
Road infrastructure conditions.
Road safety.
Support growth and economic productivity.
Environmental outcomes.
Looking forward to your feedback.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”