Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
Poll: Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?
The Australian Prime Minister has expressed plans to ban social media use for children.
This would make it illegal for under 16-year-olds to have accounts on platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and X.
Social media platforms would be tasked with ensuring they have no access; under-age children and their parents wouldn’t be penalised for breaching the age limit.
Do you think NZ should follow suit? Vote in our poll and share your thoughts below.
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0% Yes
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0% No
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0% Other - I'll share below
Farmers Santa Parade
🎅 The magic is back! The Farmers Santa Parade returns to Auckland on Sunday, 24 November – and this year, Bluey is joining the fun! 💙 Bring the whānau along for a festive day filled with holiday cheer, colourful floats, and beloved characters. 🎄✨
Sweet Dreams Start with the Perfect Bedtime Drink! ?✨
Bedtime rituals are better with the perfect drink! ?✨ Do you prefer warm hot chocolate, soothing herbal tea, or refreshing water? Tell us your favourite bedtime beverage and let’s get inspired for those peaceful nights! ? #Beds4U #sleep