Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
Live Q&A: Garden maintenance with Crewcut
This Wednesday, we are having another Neighbourly Q&A session. This time with John Bracewell from Crewcut.
John Bracewell, former Black Caps coach turned Franchisee Development Manager and currently the face of Crewcut’s #Movember campaign, knows a thing or two about keeping the grass looking sharp—whether it’s on a cricket pitch or in your backyard!
As a seasoned Crewcut franchisee, John is excited to answer your lawn and gardening questions. After years of perfecting the greens on the field, he's ready to share tips on how to knock your garden out of the park. Let's just say he’s as passionate about lush lawns as he is about a good game of cricket!
John is happy to answer questions about lawn mowing, tree/hedge trimming, tidying your garden, ride on mowing, you name it! He'll be online on Wednesday, 27th of November to answer them all.
Share your question below now ⬇️
Tips on Choosing the Right Mattress Size for Quality Sleep Every Night
When it comes to getting a good night's sleep, the right mattress size plays a crucial role.
You might have heard myths about beds and frames and which size suits you.
Today, we're here to demystify these myths and provide a size-by-size comparison to help you find the perfect fit for your needs.
Finding the Perfect Fit
Selecting the right mattress size is akin to finding the perfect fit in a world of options.
Much like trying on clothes or shoes, your mattress size should cater to your individual needs and preferences.
Let's explore some key factors to consider when finding the perfect fit for your mattress:
1. Personal Preferences.
Consider your sleeping habits and personal space preferences.
Do you like to sprawl out or curl up?
Are you a solo sleeper, or do you share the bed with a partner, kids, or pets?
Understanding your personal preferences is essential in determining the ideal mattress size.
2. Bedroom Size.
Take the dimensions of your bedroom into account when choosing a mattress size.
A spacious bedroom can accommodate larger mattress sizes, whereas smaller bedrooms may require more compact options to ensure ample space for movement and furniture placement.
3. Sleeping Partners.
If you share the bed with a partner, consider their sleeping habits and space requirements.
A larger mattress size, such as a queen or king, provides ample space for both individuals to move comfortably without disturbing each other's sleep.
What Size Should You Get?
Let's break it down size by size:
Single Mattress (91cm x 188cm). Ideal for kids' rooms, guest rooms, or small bedrooms. A single mattress is also a good option for individuals who prefer sleeping alone and value space conservation.
Double Mattress (137cm x 188cm). Also known as a full-size mattress, this option offers more room to stretch out than a single mattress. It's suitable for couples who like to snuggle or for individuals who appreciate extra space.
Queen Mattress (153cm x 203cm). The queen mattress is one of the most popular choices for couples. It provides ample space for two people to sleep comfortably without feeling cramped. It's also a great option for individuals who enjoy sprawling out.
King Mattress (167cm x 203cm). The king mattress offers the most space out of all the standard sizes. It's perfect for couples who want plenty of room to move around or for families who like to co-sleep with young children or pets.
Choosing the Perfect Mattress Size for Your Sleep Needs
Mattress sizes can vary around the world, which can sometimes lead to confusion. In New Zealand, we follow standard sizes such as single, double, queen, and king.
However, it's essential to consider your personal preferences and the dimensions of your bedroom and furniture when choosing a mattress size.
Selecting the right mattress size is crucial for a good night's sleep.
By understanding the differences between single, double, queen, and king mattresses, you can make an informed decision that meets your needs and preferences.
At Beds4U, we're committed to helping you find the perfect mattress size.
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