Retire with confidence
Ryman’s Peace of Mind Guarantees are designed with your protection in mind, giving you the confidence to live the way you want and to embrace every opportunity.
Take Ross for example. He’s a Ryman resident who began his musical journey at the age of 65. His ‘no worries’ lifestyle has meant that ten years later, Ross plays in several bands and tours in different towns playing music on a guitar he made himself. A little certainty provides great reassurance in knowing you can pursue the things you love in retirement, without any worries.
For full details on our Peace of Mind Guarantees visit rymanhealthcare.co.nz
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”