Post Traumatic Stress

Amy Vandenberg from Phoebe's Tribute

Lets have a honest discussion about Post Traumatic Stress. How many of us here are going through it right now?

I know I have it but I never really knew how paralyzing it is until something like Xavier's heart check up and Pediatric check up is coming up. I start to stress, sweat find a reason why I can't do it..I am too busy so I always get my husband to take him.

Or when I see a Hurst driving by, I just feel like my heart stopped and I am back there again behind Phoebe's Hurst while driving to her final destination. I live through the screaming of not wanting them to take her body to the service. Because I know I wont be able to hold her again. I feel the emotions like it was yesterday.

I see a funeral home and my stomach turns and my mind goes straight back to the day we finally got to see her after she was ready to be seen (embalmed)... the door slowly open... the moment I saw her in a coffin my legs gave way and I fell backwards with shock.

I drive pass the mortuary when going to starship and immediately get the goosebumps on my arms and straight away it takes me back to when they took her out of the freezer, she is purple, liveless and we get to have a cuddle with her frozen cold dead body. I collapse on the floor screaming in pain all over again in my mind. I hate that place.

So how much does PTSD affect you? Share your story with me... its not something that people like to admit they have but I think it is healthy for us to talk about it and face it and hopefully find some healing from it.