Windsor, Invercargill

1210 days ago

Brightening up the trail

Dennis from East Invercargill

New hangings from the Tree Gallery on the Waihopai Walking/Biking trail.
Well done contributors.... Nice!

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1211 days ago

Oh No , not another one . Psych professor and students.

John from East Invercargill

Psych professor on his first class lecture, wants to break the ice, and is lecturing his students about his thesis on human conditioning response.
He outlines 3 typical steps of emotional response:
1. Surprise
2. Annoyance
3. Anger.
Seeing his students dumbfounded he offers to demonstrate it.
He … View more
Psych professor on his first class lecture, wants to break the ice, and is lecturing his students about his thesis on human conditioning response.
He outlines 3 typical steps of emotional response:
1. Surprise
2. Annoyance
3. Anger.
Seeing his students dumbfounded he offers to demonstrate it.
He picks up a burner phone and ask students for randomly chosen phone number. He then prank calls a stranger, puts the phone next to microphone.
Professor: Hello! Can I talk to Johnny?
Stranger: Who is this? There is no one by this name.
Professor: hangs the phone. class, you just witnessed ,
1. Surprise emotion.
Professor: Calls back the same number. Can I talk to Johnny?
Stranger: Why are you calling me again? I told you, no one here by the name of Johnny. Who are you?
Professor: hangs up the phone, this was
2. Annoyance
The Professor tells his students " here comes No 3 , Anger.
He calls back the same number again. "Can I talk to Johnny?
Stranger: Hey you SOB, what is your address,
I’ll show you a Johnny $&@! ##@&&
The classroom seems to be entertained by the prank call, starts to applaud professor on their first impressions.
Suddenly there is a hand raised by one of the students.
Student: I read your thesis professor . I found that there is 4th emotional response called “Confusion”.
He goes to the mic, takes his phone and dials the same stranger: the classroom turns quiet.
Student: Hello, “This is Johnny. Any messages?”

Seeing as we may get a little more freedom , probably after the week end I might as well punish you all with this one.

An American, a Frenchman, a Hong-Konger, and a Chinese man found themselves all in a train carriage. Conversation was awkward and stilted, until the Frenchman thought he would take the opportunity to show off a little to his fellow passengers.
Opening his suitcase, he takes out a fresh bottle of champagne, and pours himself a flute of it. After making a great show of enjoying his sparkling wine, he opens the window and throws everything out! His fellow passengers are obviously surprised. The Frenchman leans back in his seat smugly. “There is more of that where I come from!”
After some thought, the American whips out a cigar and a lighter. However, instead of lighting the cigar directly, he takes out a $100 note and lights that first. After he gets the cigar lighted to his satisfaction, he tosses the burning note out the window as well. He leans back, puffing his cigar contentedly. “There is more of that where I come from!”
Not to be outdone, the Hong-Konger leaps up… and throws the Chinese man out the window.

1211 days ago

Parts of country to go to Alert Level 3

Neighbourly.co.nz

All regions outside of the Auckland and Northland region will move to Alert Level 3 11.59pm Tuesday August 31.

In a press conference Friday afternoon, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern confirmed that Auckland and Northland will likely need to complete a further full two weeks at level 4 in order to … View more
All regions outside of the Auckland and Northland region will move to Alert Level 3 11.59pm Tuesday August 31.

In a press conference Friday afternoon, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern confirmed that Auckland and Northland will likely need to complete a further full two weeks at level 4 in order to keep the Delta variant from spreading further in the regions.

Here's what you need to know
- There will be regional boundaries, there will be no travel allowed between regions unless required for essential services.
- Boundaries maintained in the last February lockdown will be reinstated.
- Around 500 locations of interest have been identified.
- The exposure site in Warkworth is a large workplace. Ardern hoped the people of Northland will understand why they're moving with caution. Northland won't always be grouped in with Auckland.

To stay up to date with the latest, follow the Stuff blog.

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1211 days ago

Playing up plywood

The Team from Resene ColorShop Invercargill

With a few Resene testpots, simple shapes can become fun kid-friendly accessories.

Find out how to create your own.

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1212 days ago

Gardening live chat on now!

Mei Leng Wong Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Hello neighbours,

It’s coming up to spring, and with everyone stuck at home in Covid lockdown, what better time to get the garden in order? NZ Gardener editor Jo McCarroll and Jack Hobbs, manager of the Auckland Botanic Gardens, are live on Stuff now to answer all your gardening questions.

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1213 days ago

Cancer doesn't stop, we won't either.

Cancer Society

COVID-19 has taken away our Daffodil Day Street Appeal.

The demand on our cancer services goes up during lockdown. And that's why we need you now more than ever. $24 helps to provide transport to and from cancer treatment.

Donate now to support the Cancer Society's vital services … View more
COVID-19 has taken away our Daffodil Day Street Appeal.

The demand on our cancer services goes up during lockdown. And that's why we need you now more than ever. $24 helps to provide transport to and from cancer treatment.

Donate now to support the Cancer Society's vital services to support New Zealanders going through cancer.
Learn more

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1213 days ago

Celebrations in lockdown

Che' Baker Reporter from Southland Times

Events such as birthdays and anniversaries still happen in lockdown. Winton couple John and Avys Kidd celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary with steamed pudding - but plan to do something next year.

Have you celebrated an event in lockdown?

www.stuff.co.nz...

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1213 days ago

Last week to nominate!

The Team from New Zealander of the Year Award | Ngā Tohu Pou Kōhure o Aotearoa

We're in the last week of nominations for the 2022 Kiwibank New Zealander of the Year Awards. So come on, Southland – who’s your New Zealander of the Year?

Tell us with a nomination! Nominations close 31 August.

Get in quick – www.nzawards.org.nz...

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1214 days ago

Help your local small business - and get $10!

David Downs from SOS Business

If you are missing your morning coffee, your cafe lunch or even your haircut - jump on www.sosbusiness.nz... and help a local small business out with cashflow - they get the money now and you get a voucher for later.
If you buy a $50 voucher, we will give you another $10 one (while stocks last).
View more
If you are missing your morning coffee, your cafe lunch or even your haircut - jump on www.sosbusiness.nz... and help a local small business out with cashflow - they get the money now and you get a voucher for later.
If you buy a $50 voucher, we will give you another $10 one (while stocks last).
SOS Business - A not-for-profit helping NZ small businesses during a tough time. All the money (less credit card fees) gets paid to the businesses.

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1214 days ago

What are you doing to keep the kids entertained?

Che' Baker Reporter from Southland Times

Making good use of their time in lockdown, Barry Wilks has been painting the exterior of his Invercargill home, while children Rowan Love-Wilks, 5, and Leo Love-Wilks, 3, entertain themselves on the family bouncy castle.

What have you been doing to keep the kids entertained?

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1214 days ago

Tamariki Talks - Fun Challenges

The Team from

Looking for a new challenge to kick start Rārua? 😃

It's time to pull out the colouring pens, pencils and get the whānau involved as we have an awesome Drawing Challenge for you! ✏️

Click on the link below and let us know how you go!

1214 days ago

Helping to prevent food waste in Invercargill

Nat Holland Reporter from Southland Times

A new business has started a branch in Invercargill to help prevent food waste and to help communities in need.

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1215 days ago

Are you using our 2021 Garden Diary?

Mei Leng Wong Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Dear neighbours,

We're all working from home during this lockdown, not just to bring you your favourite gardening mag, but also our Garden Diary 2022! This is where we need your help: Show us how you've been using your 2021 Diary -- take photos of the pages, tell us what was most … View more
Dear neighbours,

We're all working from home during this lockdown, not just to bring you your favourite gardening mag, but also our Garden Diary 2022! This is where we need your help: Show us how you've been using your 2021 Diary -- take photos of the pages, tell us what was most useful, did you have enough space to write your notes, what have you scribbled on the pages? Did you clip your plant labels on them? Perhaps shoot a little video with your phone as you turn the pages. Your feedback will help us put together next year's diary.

Please email your comments and photos to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, by this Friday, Aug 27. The five most helpful readers will each receive a free copy of the 2022 diary.

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1215 days ago

Solicitor in court cross examination ..

John from East Invercargill

Seeing as we are still stuck at home and I have a captive audience I thought I might as well hit you with this :
A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
View more
Seeing as we are still stuck at home and I have a captive audience I thought I might as well hit you with this :
A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor?
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Paddy said, 'Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie'.
Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded.’ Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after da accident, a policeman turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'
'Now wot would you say?'

1216 days ago

One to watch

Competenz

We love seeing our apprentices making waves in the industry.
Wade Peek was recently named Plastics Apprentice of the Year, is definitely one to watch. With two qualifications under his belt, he’s been earmarked as a future plastics industry leader.

He hopes to one day start his own … View more
We love seeing our apprentices making waves in the industry.
Wade Peek was recently named Plastics Apprentice of the Year, is definitely one to watch. With two qualifications under his belt, he’s been earmarked as a future plastics industry leader.

He hopes to one day start his own manufacturing business and says: "I really want to pass on what I have learnt to support apprentices in their training. I also want to be able to teach people outside of the plastics industry about what we do, as I truly believe we can't solve any of the really important environmental issues that surround plastic unless as many people as possible understand it."

If you are thinking of signing up for an apprenticeship, get in touch with us here

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