M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION -  
M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION - M.E.G.A. APRIL 2025 EDITION -  
MEGA's Piggy Has A Name !
And the Name and the Winner is.....(click here)

We Are: Make Eastbourne Great Again Inc.

We’re not a party—just locals fed up with waiting. No politics (ok, maybe a little), no spin—just action, satire, and a dose of community spirit. We’re here to fix things, call out the nonsense, and have some fun doing it. No red tape. No corporate fluff. Just Eastbourne, making itself great again—because someone has to.
*** MEGA Website best viewed and enjoyed on PC, Laptop or Tablet.***

BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS 
BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS 




Eastbourne May Have Been Dutch All Along



MEGA UNCOVERS
SHOCKING EVIDENCE
THAT COULD ROCK THE HARBOUR

Abel Tasman Here First?

In a discovery that could rewrite the history books (or at least heavily footnote them), MEGA has come into possession of what appears to be a 1642 maritime chart, possibly linked to Abel Tasman himself, where Wellington Harbour is labelled with a Dutch name eerily similar to “Eastbourne.”

We're not saying it definitely says Oostboorn or Oostbeurne or even Easboerne (the ink’s a bit faded and someone’s spilled stroopwafel syrup on part of it), but the resemblance is undeniable. Coincidence? We think not.

This chart, delicately folded up behind a painting of Queen Beatrix was found by a local retired teacher of Dutch heritage whose parents arrived in NZ post WWII, and clearly predates British colonisation by over 100 years. Which means—brace yourselves—Eastbourne may have been Dutch before it was cool.

*** Send us an email if you would like a PDF version of the document***

What this means:

• We might need to start celebrating Koningsdag (King’s Day).
• The local café menu will soon feature bitterballen, hagelslag toast, and something we’re calling a “Double Dutch Flat White.”
• The RSA may be forced to hold klootschieten tournaments.
• The Croquet Club? Rebranded to CroqKaas.
• We’re considering replacing the Council with a Stadtholder.
We will call upon Te Papa, the Maritime Museum, and anyone who knows how to read 17th-century Dutch cartography to come forward and help us verify this earth-shattering document.
In the meantime, we’re acting as if it’s true. Because if we’ve learned anything from history, it’s that whoever has the map gets to name the place.
Make Eastbourne Great (and Possibly Dutch) Again. 

MEGA's Plot to Make Eastbourne Great Again  

Question:
Can anyone tell the community what the plan is to get the 'Shared Pathway from one side of Days Bay to the other?
The HCC shows a series of 'dotted' lines and no answer! Where is the lame Community Board? ....... Still 'Crickets"

Question:
Government announced a 'War on Road Cones" has anyone working on the Shared Pathway listened?

Question: 
Has the Seaview stench been diverted to Eastbourne escaping at the Windy Point vent and others along the sewage line rather than properly dealing to the original Seaview problem?
Maybe 'You simply can't polish a turd' (Quote) Mayor Campbell Barry has an answer. 





Pito-one Harmony Singers – MEGA’s favourite community group for those with cognitive decline: www.musicforlife.co.nz 

Electric Ferry back in service at the end of March (we hope).
Power bill paid! New extension lead too short?

And the Eastbourne & Days Bay Community Facebook pages. Super for lost pets, jandals and who baked the best cakes. Keep it up!

Have you, your club or organisation got an upcoming event? Let us know and we will list it here.

It seems the Eastbourne Community Board (ECB) has become something of a political relic—existing more out of habit than impact. Hutt City Council initially saw the writing on the wall and voted to disband it, only to reverse course when the usual voices of self-interest piped up. The result? A board that generates paperwork destined for a shelf rather than meaningful change.

Meanwhile, our rates remain among the highest in the city, yet real representation is as elusive as a summer’s day without a northerly. The Mayor and local Councillor appear like clockwork in election years, only to vanish once the votes are counted.

So, let’s ask the real question: Does the ECB serve Eastbourne, or merely itself? If it’s ineffective and ignored, why keep it? What we need is a dedicated local representative—someone who actually lives here (Howard Point southward) and is invested in the community beyond election season.

It’s time for a real discussion. Join the MEGA Facebook Group and have your say—because Eastbourne deserves better than political theatre.

**Note** Sat March 29 the ECB is going on their annual 'Walk-Around' (the Board and 1 x Council Officer (probably the tea lady) looking for issues?)

"Ask not what your community board can do for you, but what you can do to make it actually do something."
—(JFK, reimagined for MEGA) 

M.E.G.A. is proud to support the many clubs, organizations, and people who make Eastbourne such a vibrant place to live. From the RSA and EESC to sports clubs, hobby groups, and service organizations like Lions, Rotary, and the Men's Shed, our community thrives because of those who get involved.

We’re lucky to have fantastic resident associations, arts groups, local performances, quiz nights, and even our very own newspaper. And let’s not forget the excellent schools in Eastbourne and Days Bay!

While MEGA’s website isn’t a traditional notice board, we’ll regularly highlight activities, and our Facebook Group is the perfect place to share and promote local events.

So, why not jump in and be part of it? Get involved, support local, and help make Eastbourne great!


We’re on a mission to cook up some legendary events—some will be one-offs, some might become annual traditions, and a few may be so outrageous that they remain legendary in our imaginations. Either way, we need YOUR ideas!

The M.E.G.A. Crew has been brainstorming, eavesdropping (legally), and taking notes from our Facebook Group (if you haven’t joined yet, what are you waiting for?). Here’s what we’ve come up with so far:

1. Banksy on the Beach
Got a stick? Got wit? Great! We’re looking for the funniest, quirkiest, or most thought-provoking phrases written in the sand. Snap a pic, send it in, and let’s turn our beaches into temporary art galleries. Extra points if a seagull photobombs your masterpiece.

2. Wellington has 'Super Cars by the Sea' - What about 'Bikes by the Bay"?

3. A New ‘Groundhog Day’—But Make It M.E.G.A.
America has Groundhog Day, but what should we have? A day where we all wear socks on our hands? A festival where we collectively pretend it’s still 1999? Pitch us your wackiest ideas—we promise to consider (or at least chuckle at) all of them.
Now It’s Your Turn!

Got an idea? No matter how big, small, weird, or wildly ambitious, we want to hear it. Nothing will be ignored! (Okay, some might be laughed at, but in a loving way.)

Drop your ideas in the comments, send us a message, or scribble them on a napkin and mail them via carrier pigeon. Let’s make some M.E.G.A. magic happen!

MEGAFEATURE

France Wants Her Back? We’ve Got a Better Idea.

“Give us the ferry-weary and the visa-delayed, the bold who braved headwinds, lost luggage, and DOC loos.
The dreamers undone by timetables and takeaway sushi. Send them through the Strait—spray-soaked, wind-whipped,
and hopeful still— to this rock where freedom stands firm, the coffee’s hot, and the wind does the talking.” 

In March 2025, French politician Raphaël Glucksmann, MEP and co-founder of Place Publique, called for the return of the Statue of Liberty,
arguing that under Trump’s leadership, the U.S. no longer lives up to the values she represents.
But instead of sending her back to Paris, we at MEGA say: give her a new home—right here in Wellington Harbour.
Picture it: Lady Liberty, standing tall on Ward Island, torch raised high, gazing through Cook Strait. A symbol of courage and welcome—
not to the tired masses, but to the bold few who still believe in a better way forward.
Why Ward Island? It’s remote, iconic, and beautifully inconvenient—exactly the kind of place that proves liberty isn’t always easy, but always worth it. Better views than Liberty Island, too.
So if France is serious, let her retire somewhere that still believes in the spirit of the thing. New York had its turn. Now it’s Wellington’s. 

A MEGALEGEND

IS ROSS JAMIESON MAKING A COMEBACK?

Rumours swirl as talk of Eastbourne secession heats up.

Word on the windy waterfront is that Ross Jamieson—yes, that Ross Jamieson—
is plotting a political comeback that could shake the shaky foundations of Hutt City Hall.
The man who was literally the last Mayor of Eastbourne before it was gobbled up in the 1989 amalgamation,
Jamieson recently resurfaced during the 2024 legal stoush over the future of community boards. And now?
Well, according to sources who may or may not have overheard something at the dairy, he wants Eastbourne back.

Not just the board. The whole borough. With rumours of a MEGA-inspired push for Eastbourne and the Bays to secede from Lower Hutt at this year’s local body elections, Jamieson is allegedly eyeing the top job—again. That’s right: Mayor of Eastbourne. The Sequel.

“He’s got unfinished business,” one source close to a guy who once mowed his lawn told us.
“Ross believes Eastbourne deserves its own leadership, its own vision, and frankly, its own rates.”

Adding fuel to the fire? The current Mayor of Lower Hutt, Campbell Barry, has announced he’s quitting and won’t seek re-election. With the mayoral chains up for grabs, the timing couldn’t be more perfect for a comeback—and possibly, a breakaway.
The plan? A full-blown ballot-box rebellion. Independence for Eastbourne. Liberation for the Bays.
And Ross Jamieson riding back in—possibly on a cargo bike—as the once and future mayor.
Will it happen? Who knows. But MEGA salutes anyone with the courage to say: enough is enough, we’re not just a pretty peninsula.

Make Eastbourne Great Again. Or at least mildly rebellious. 

ANOTHER MEGALEGEND
Double Trouble in Aotearoa: Wizard Finds His Wandering Twin!

In a twist so magical it could only happen in New Zealand, Christchurch’s iconic Wizard has discovered a long-lost twin—living right here in Eastbourne.

Meet Stephen 'Snifter' Phillips: local eccentric, self-styled street sorcerer, and possessor of a booming voice that’s permanently set to “public announcement.” Known for his surreal monologues that dance between genius and gibberish, Snifter had no idea he shared both DNA and dramatic flair with New Zealand’s most spellbinding character.

“I always felt drawn to pointy hats, staffs, and yelling at public transport,” said Snifter. “Now I know why—it’s in the blood.”

After hearing whispers of an Eastbourne wizard who could bend logic and volume in equal measure, the Wizard of Christchurch could be making a ley line north to meet his metaphysical match. Their meeting could be described as a scene somewhere between the Big Bang and a philosophy lecture in a wind tunnel—loud, intense, and deeply confusing.

The resemblance is uncanny. The ability to speak endlessly while making little sense? Identical. Experts believe it may be a rare cosmic anomaly—or just very powerful beards.
MEGA is thrilled to welcome Snifter to the “Council of Confounding Characters,” our Eastbourne answer to the nation’s original enchanter. And yes, we’re now planning a “Battle of the Beards” on Rimu Street: Wizard vs Snifter, winner gets a flagon of kombucha and naming rights to the next incoming southerly.

Stay enchanted, Eastbourne. Greatness is brewing !

MEGARUMOURS

The Colonel Cometh
 to Lowry Bay? 
Finger-Lickin'
History Under Threat!

Just when you thought Eastbourne couldn't get any tastier—or perhaps greasier—word on the salty streets is that the venerable Skerrett Boat Shed in Lowry Bay, a cherished Edwardian icon dating back to 1906, may soon be trading nautical knots for chicken buckets.
Yes, you've read that right: the historical gem, might soon find itself home to the Colonel's famous 11 herbs and spices. Can it survive the tidal wave of drive-thru customers seeking crispy thighs and drumsticks?
Naturally, not everyone in Lowry Bay is thrilled. While Wanaka's recent McDonald's fiasco ended with locals flipping more than burgers to halt the golden arches, notoriously conservative locals are already preparing to deep fry this crispy invasion with heated letters, scathing petitions, and whispered threats of civil unrest—or at least strongly worded objections at the next Council meeting.
Lowry Bay could soon be a landmark for entirely new reasons, as passing traffic picks up not just historical vibes but takeaway orders too. 

Eastbourne Goes Au Naturel: Clothing Optional Zone
 at Days Bay

In a bold move that’s sure to raise eyebrows and maybe a few goosebumps, Hutt City Council has quietly approved a new “clothing optional” area at the northern end of Days Bay Beach.
The pilot initiative, comes after “months of cheeky lobbying” championed by local group MEGA, encourages body positivity, freedom of expression, and perhaps a little Vitamin D in unexpected places. “We believe Eastbourne should be open-minded — and occasionally open-cheeked,” said a MEGA spokesperson. “This is all part of a broader plan to “liberate Eastbourne, one buttock at a time.”
Enthusiastic Locals are already making the most of the relaxed dress code, with sunbathers of all shapes and ages already embracing what could be the new normal. Reactions range from enthusiastic applause to nervous side-eyes, but most agree it’s added a fresh breeze to the coastal community.
Council sources hinted that a trial will run through next summer, with full review in autumn – weather and public decency complaints permitting.
Sun’s out, buns out, Eastbourne!
North Days Bay: where the only thing not optional is sunscreen.

Eastbourne Joins the Māori Roll (Sort Of)

MEGA News | 31 March 2025

In a surprise twist worthy of a soap opera, Eastbourne might be added to the Māori electorate of Ikaroa-Rāwhiti under proposed boundary changes. The move would shift 3300 locals (and their compost bins) into an electorate that currently stretches all the way up to Ruatoria.
Before you clutch your pearls: this only affects Māori voters on the Māori roll. If you're not on it, your vote stays exactly where it is.
So, what changes?
You might notice more Māori political engagement, new perspectives on local issues, and maybe the odd hui down at the RSA.
Public feedback opens in June. Until then, feel free to wildly speculate over coffee.

MEGA – Making Electoral Maps Interesting Again. 

MEGAchatter
Go EVFB !

A big cheers for the Eastbourne Volunteer Fire Brigade who are in the annual Sky Tower Challenge in Auckland on May 24.

East-West Electric Ferry

Turns out the future was plugged in—just needed a longer cord.
May?

From Trees to Tragedy?

Williams Park lost its greenery to a Council plan of poles, signs, EV bits and a lonely 'bus' shelter. Progress? You tell us. 

MEGAFUNNY

"Eastbourne: Where the rates are high, the tides are higher, the insurance just waved goodbye— but don’t worry, the half-built cycleway will save us!"  

Brought to you by MEGA: Pedalling coastal resilience since never.

MEGAGALLERY

Pukatea Sands Resort

04.09.2030

A visionary, car-free coastal community blending heritage with innovation—luxury homes, marinas, cafés, and NZ’s first casino. Powered by sun, wind, and style.

Rust Never Sleeps!

08.09.2030

Days Bay Wharf’s $4.6M revamp now streams rust, thanks to non-galvanised nails. Salt + steel = decay. A budget blunder turning new into “heritage” faster than planned.

Hydrants, Hatches & Silence

12.09.2030

MEGA Sounds the Alarm
Eastbourne’s firefighters have raised a red flag—faulty, failing hydrants across the Hutt. Poorly maintained, some don’t work at all. Quiet? Not anymore. 

Hutt Council’s ‘Significance’ Plan Backfires

12.09.2030

It’s being called insulting, divisive, and needlessly complex—especially by Eastbourne’s elderly. Another triumph in overthinking the obvious.

From Cell to Stalemate

18.09.2030

Once a quaint jailhouse, now a rusting relic. Bought for $1, promised a new home—still rotting in Williams Park. Time to post bail and move on.

Don't Fence Me In.

26.09.2030

The infamous penguin fence: meant to protect, achieved confusion. Still standing, still useless—tripping tourists while penguins waddle past with zero regard.

MEGA Predicts

30.09.2030

The Hutt’s political shuffle is on: Barry exits for Parliament, Tui eyes the mayoralty, Ginny rides the list, and Bish reigns supreme. Underdogs lurk. Drama guaranteed.

Missed any of MEGA's older stories? 

Like the samples from our recent editions above you can simply scroll through the original articles on our Group's Facebook Page:
[Click the FB Icon]

"Houston, we have a problem." — Apollo 13 (Jim Lovell) — MEGA Adaptation: "Eastbourne, we have a Council. That’s the problem." "Houston, we have a problem." — Apollo 13 (Jim Lovell) — MEGA Adaptation: "Eastbourne, we have a Council. That’s the problem."  
"Houston, we have a problem." — Apollo 13 (Jim Lovell) — MEGA Adaptation: "Eastbourne, we have a Council. That’s the problem." "Houston, we have a problem." — Apollo 13 (Jim Lovell) — MEGA Adaptation: "Eastbourne, we have a Council. That’s the problem."  

FAQ


We are different, and not everyone will like us...... but you're still welcome here.

Can I stay anonymous?

Absolutely! You can use an alias if you prefer to remain incognito. Just keep in mind that living in Eastbourne or the Bays area could help you understand some of the more localised issues and events - Everyone is welcome.

If you’re happy to have your real name linked to your posts or articles, that’s totally fine too. We’re after your participation, not your life story (though we do like you, promise).

If you’re sharing photos, make sure they don’t accidentally reveal your secret identity—unless you’re fine with the world knowing who captured that stunning sunset. But please, do send stuff. We love it.

M.E.G.A. Rules:
As Freedom of Speech is essential in M.E.G.A. philosophy so there are really no rules except for extreme cases of abuse. We are not about censorship.

Ah, the age-old question—what sets M.E.G.A. apart from the wonderful (and sometimes wonderfully opinionated) tapestry of local rags, Facebook groups, and community newsletters?

First off, let’s be clear: we’re not here to replace, criticize, or rain on anyone’s parade. The Herald, the Eastbourne and Days Bay Community Facebook groups, and those ever-polite Residents’ Association newsletters all do a fantastic job. You need to find a lost cat? They’ve got you. Keen on debating the appropriate shade of blue for a beach sign? Perfect place.

But M.E.G.A.? Well, we dance to a different drum.

We’re not about fines, lost keys, or an endless parade of grandkid photos (as adorable as they may be). We’re here for big ideas, bold opinions, and the kind of cheeky mischief that makes life interesting.

We believe in freedom of speech—not just the parts that make everyone nod in polite agreement, but the real deal. If you have a point to make, make it. Whether our admins or members agree or not, we welcome robust, spirited discussions.

And perhaps most importantly? We’re here to shake things up with a whimsical, mischievous, and innovative spirit. If the local conversation were a dinner party, we’d be the guest who arrives with a bottle of something interesting, a controversial topic, and a twinkle in our eye.

Officially we are a Registered Incorporated Society. 
Make Eastbourne Great Again Incorporated has it's offices and officers all located in our community. 

That’s why M.E.G.A. is different. And that’s why you’re here.

Time to join the M.E.G.A. Community.........Sure Is.
Curious? Intrigued? Are you interested in your community?
Maybe you want to be heard. Maybe the time is NOW!

Fill in the details below and we'll send you an invite to Join our Special Members Facebook Group.

If you are not on Facebook then keep checking this website for new updates and chatter,
plus use the email link below to tell us 'stuff' and to participate, add your thoughts.....
and.... enter our special events and competitions.

© Copyright 2025 M.E.G.A. - All Rights Reserved - Make Eastbourne Great Again Inc.

M.E.G.A. Disclaimer:
This website is intended exclusively for the legends who have stumbled across it. It might contain top-secret info, witty banter, or something mildly confidential—so please go and spilling the beans. If you’re not the chosen one (or the slightly less cool employee/agent tasked with delivering this information), you’re invited to the party. Forwarding, copying, or sharing this information is strictly encouraged and might result in a strongly worded letter of thanks, good karma, or possibly civil acclamation (but mostly good karma).
Thanks, and remember: Eastbourne & The Bays are great— Cheers!